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Time Traveler Wanted

I am not making this up. I was cruising the Craig's List job board looking for freelance design jobs when I came across the most interesting post I've seen lately.

"I am looking to hire someone capable of transporting me into the past, specifically to November 5th 1977. I will wish to return to the present five days later on November 10th 1977. Your method of temporal transfer may be technological, magickal, psychic or other, it is irrelevant. I am willing to sign what ever non-disclosure agreements you require, including protecting your technical/mystical secrets and agreeing not to alter the timeline. I WILL require the functionality of your time travel method to be vetted by an expert, chosen by me before ANY monetary transfer takes place.

While in the past, I intend only to observe two events, one in San Diego, CA on the evening of November 6th, 1977, the next in Baltimore MD on the afternoon of November 8th, 1977. Depending on what I learn, I may need to make additional observations on November 9th and 10th, but I do not wish to risk staying longer in the past. I also need to purchase a couple of small items while in San Diego. I intend to bury these in a place I can retrieve them in the present. These purchases are not intended for resale or any other form of monetary gain, rather they are related to the personal mystery which I am intending to solve.

I plan to use contemporary transportation and lodging and intend to bring a small amount of gold into the past to exchange for contemporary currency, although if you can arrange some form of transportation (such as teleportation) I am prepared to compensate you with a substantial bonus. I must, however, insist on TOTAL privacy while I conduct my investigation of the past and will require YOU to sign a non-disclosure agreement should you happen to accidentally learn anything. This trip pertains to a family business matter and the people involved are very touchy and the legal ramifications potentially far reaching.

Only qualified candidates need bother applying. I understand this is a long shot but appreciate your consideration. Thank you very much. "

If only I could sprinkle fairy dust and make this man's dreams come true, I'd be a half million dollars richer. Only qualified candidates need apply though. And on top of that, the time travel method will be vetted by an expert. Bummer.

1 comment:

Tess Mattern said...

Oh my gosh, I think this was a posting from Jack Shephard. We have to go back, Kate!